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Mary Le Fey
29 November 2010 @ 04:28 pm
 I always find like a bazillion amazing things on the internet (not including the porn), so this is a post of roughly zero substance to share the best thing that has ever been in my life. (Well, the best 59-second thing in my life, at least.) 

Also, WhoviansUSA returns this week, so I've got to like... come up with an idea for my Friday video tomorrow, because I like being prepared. Because I am Scar. I chase my adorable nephew from the kingdom with family trauma. *Ahem* Why does everything I say turn into a meaningless tangent, exactly? 

I have a lot of shitty ideas about the Girl Friday WhoviansUSA vlogs, and I need to finish watching Destiny of the Daleks because I. STILL. HAVEN'T. I think I only have one more episode to watch, but ... yeah. I like my plan of using the Girl Friday vids as motivation to watch more of the classic series, but it'd be useful if I actually watched an entire story instead of just 4/5s of it or so. But I need more ideas that don't depend on me watching episodes I have never seen before, because apparently I cannot be trusted on such fronts. 

Also, a beautiful out-takes video from the vlogbrothers makes me feel better about life because Hank repeats himself a thousand times just saying "Good morning, John" at the beginning. As a bonus to their necessary editing, John does declare that "Moon Pies are a real thing in the South." Yes. Yes indeed. 
Current Mood: nauseatedgluhhh
Mary Le Fey

Happy 47th birthday to Doctor Who! May your protagonist poke companions in confusion for many years to come. :) 

this is really best hidden under the non-judgmental blanket of the LJ cut. Or... something that makes sense.Collapse )

I'm weird-feeling tonight and I need a hug. And then I will promptly fall asleep on whomever gives me a hug because I'm completely zonked. 
Current Mood: groggyughhhh
Mary Le Fey
18 November 2010 @ 03:46 pm
If you could cast one type of magic spell, which would you choose, and why?

A spell that makes everyone in my vicinity and/or anyone who will ever interact in a text-based form with me use the correct "your/you're" because seeing the wrong one makes me feel like I'm under the goddamn Cruciatus Curse. 

Okay, maybe not. I want teleportation, bitches. But it'd be much snazzier if everyone had teleportation powers, because then commutes would... not really exist, plus I wouldn't have to include a footnote on my resume that says "BTW, I have magical powers, yo. Don't worry about me coming in late!" because anybody could work anywhere and live anywhere (else) and it wouldn't need to be explained and result in nobody hiring me ever! :D 

Also, I feel like "I want teleportation, bitches" should be a tag-line for my life, along with "I am the magical sitar." Also "I'm not crazy; I'm just drawn that way." (Though I don't think I've had a "teleportation" status on Facebook in the recent past.) 

[An interesting answer I saw to this question was "a curse to turn people into rabbits," like if the people had been bad or mean or something. This seems a short-sighted "punishment" that... is not much of a punishment, considering the alleged fun bunnies are supposed to have.] 

Today I surprised myself with my own life because I realized that I have known my Ruthi for 7 years! Or something! I don't know; I just remember "November in sophomore year," so who cares about exact dates (except for me because I remember everything that ever happens & memorize everyone's birthday)? But still, it's exciting to me. Now I need you to not dissolve into a puddle of botulism and come back here and have a friendiversary with me, lady. 

Also, apparently my email got mini-hacked? That's what I'm calling it because... I don't know really. It sent a spam thing to me and like, 8 people. I changed my password (at a couple of places) and sent a very awkward email to recipients of the silly spam thing. I don't know if that's necessary, but I thought it'd be good since the thing was sent to my mom's work email and to Renee - whom I did want to write soon, but... not like that - and to several other people I'd like to keep a "sane" impression of me. 
Mary Le Fey
16 November 2010 @ 12:05 pm
 I'm awake! And dressed! Instead of doing anything part-way productive, I'm ... here. Because unless I'm dancing in the kitchen or ripping apart a piece of student prose, I am a useless creature before 1 PM anyway. 

What it says on the tinCollapse )
Current Mood: hungryhungry
Current Music: "Drumming Song" by Florence + the Machine
Mary Le Fey
1. Reply to this post and I will assign you a letter.
2. List/upload five songs you love that begin with that letter.
3. Post them to your journal with these instructions.

My letter is "L!" Woo!

1. "Lady Marmalade" by... whomever. Christina Aguilera & Lil' Kim & etc., or the actual... original musician. (Sorry I forgot you.) 
2. "Land's End" by Patrick Wolf
3. "Leather and Lace" by Stevie Nicks
4. "Love is Like a Bottle of Gin" by the Magnetic Fields
5. "Love Will Tear Us Apart" by Joy Division

Went to a lecture and a panel at UNC-W today, and I must say - I love being surrounded by other "writerlies," as I call them. There's this lovely sense of easy understanding during discussions of process. My favorite bit was when a young man said he wrote short (15-20 lines) condensed poetry and asked the panelists how to write longer poems, and Charlotte Matthews was like, "Why... why would you want to do that?" XD 

Most of my high school era poems were, of course, extremely long. And bad. But since I started to carve very short poems (3-10 lines) this spring/winter, I've felt much more confident as a poet and like I have something specific that I'm actually skilled at. At the same time, I feel like a bit of a cheat because I don't agonize very much over revision - I can write a strong first-draft short poem in 10 minutes and then revise it in like, 3 minutes. And honestly be done with the "making" portion of the poem, about 70% of the time. I guess that's made it easier to just... not bother with long poems - they take longer to read over and despite my intense love for "Goblin Market," a lengthy poem of supreme awesome, I feel like there's an inherent "betterness" in shorter versus longer poems. Insert here a juvenile comparison involving the phrases "size matters" and "bigger is not always better" and such things, please. I'm tired and can't do it right now. 

Also, today at Panera I fell in love with the cashier with the cool glasses. Mmm, Panera girl, you brightened my pre-writerly-nerd day. <3 

I didn't talk about NaNoWriMo! Because why bother. BUT I'M GONNA. I'M GONNA DO IT NOW. 
With my adventures at the UNCW campus and... stalking my own mother (why would I just say "visiting" or "hanging out with" when I can say "stalking," after all?) and adoring the girl who took our order at Panera Bread, I didn't manage much writing on November 1st. I got like... 128 words. So I thought later in the day, "Maybe I won't shoot for 50,000 words. Maybe just like 40,000 instead." And we'll see how far I actually get, but I have triumphed this night! Tonight, I spice my mead/meat with goblin blood! Anyway! I just wrote over 600 words in 23 minutes and it practically makes me emit self-congratulatory coos - I'm very silly like that. 

But yes! I previously felt that the NaNo word count goal was perhaps impossible for me at this time because I am so out-of-practice - and I'm very glad that I consider a 5-month stretch of nonattentiveness to prose to be like woefully unpracticed, because it means I did in fact get used to writing on a regular basis which is one of the main things I actually wanted from the experience of being an English major. But if I can do little sprints like this like three times a day - say something like, "Okay, it's 1:34 - you're going to write (and only write - no poking around Cracked or anything) until 2:00" throughout the day, then it's actually conceivable that I might generate a respectable word count! In the words of young John Green, "it's wonderful amazing." 

I am proud of this because I am a ridiculously slow writer. That is, when I am not being pushed by a professor's deadline, I may write roughly 17 words in one day of working on a story. I am proud of this because I am an editor at all moments of my life and I do mean ALL MOMENTS. I couldn't stop myself from going back and tweaking a phrase I HADN'T EVEN FINISHED WRITING YET, even within my 23 minute run. But I did manage to "just write" for a good portion of those 23 minutes; I tried not to let myself read the page too much. I am proud of this because my first drafts are often suspiciously similar to my final drafts and that's because I am editing at all moments as I said before, so there is essentially NO FIRST DRAFT for any of my prose work. It's an amalgamation of first, second, and third drafts. Occasionally fourths. There is an instinct in me NOT TO WRITE A CRAPPY SENTENCE and that instinct is hard to suppress and I usually don't try to. So... yeah. I'm stoked. I am 1.5% of the way to the actual NaNo goal. Coolio, hep cats and hep kittens! 
Current Mood: sleepysleepy
Mary Le Fey
Writing is the theme. Also, making passes at inappropriate things.Collapse )
Current Mood: geekythinky
Current Music: "Dog Days are Over" by Florence + the Machine
Mary Le Fey
17 October 2010 @ 10:11 pm
As requested by a bored friend, my 10 (ish) Favorite New Whos: 

Top Tenortwelve episodes that kick my ass with their kickasseryCollapse )
Mary Le Fey
16 October 2010 @ 11:55 pm
 Let's have a little Vocabulary Fun Time City

There are, of course, many many completely awesome words hanging around the world, and I cannot possibly know, meet, or remember them all! It's very sad. But I thought I'd bring out a few of the fancier words that really ... strike my fancy, and share them and ask anyone (and that means everyone) to contribute any words they find particularly snazzy/interesting/useful - especially if they are longish and the kind you couldn't say without sounding like a snobby jackass (I love sounding like a snobby jackass, as many may know). 

My words! 

Okay, so I never read the entire book, WHATEVER. I did get to this part and... something about a party, and I don't remember much. And what's awesome about this word - besides having so many consecutive consonants and quite that many syllables and being slightly difficult to say at first - is that I ACTUALLY USE IT. On a semi-regular basis, even! It's full of joy. 

Bioluminescent / bioluminescence
I feel like I say this every 10 minutes, but I quite literally slept through like 85% of 10th grade biology. I made sure to stay awake for the week we did genetics, because I really like Punnett squares, but anyway - I *did* get a 90 or something in that class, since I occasionally read the book and had to be awake for the first minutes of class before my head found its way to the desk, and this word is one of the things I somehow learned in that class (also the fact that learning about the octopus makes me surprisingly bored). But I've used the word a lot in poetry and I just think it's awesome like a living (o)possum.

Sadly, I do not use this word in my regular life. Or ever. I just think it's awesome, I'm glad it exists, and I wish I'd known it as a teenager. It was one of the first words I got when I signed up for A Word A Day a few years ago. 
Current Mood: geekygeeky
Current Music: "The Master Vainglorious"
Mary Le Fey
The Rules: Don't take too long to think about it. Fifteen writers whose works you connect to, read over and over, quote from constantly or just plain worship. List the first fifteen you can recall in no more than fifteen minutes. Tag fifteen friends, including me, because I'm interested in seeing what writers my friends choose. If you'd like to participate, please do, as I love any opportunity to talk about books, authors, and poets!

 1 Emerson, Ralph Waldo
2 Christina Rosetti
3 Louisa May Alcott
4 Mary Butts
5 Charlotte Bronte (Jane Eyre)
6 Flannery O'Connor ("Good Country People") 
7 Sara Teasdale (Don't judge.)
8 Jane Austen
9 Virginia Woolf
10 Richard Powers ("Modulation") 
11 the obligatory Emily Dickinson
12 Charlotte Perkins Gilman ("The Yellow Wallpaper") 
13 Margaret Atwood ("The Little Red Hen Tells All")
14 Muriel Rukeyser ("Myth")
15 Richard Brautigan ("30 Cents, Two Transfers, Love")

commentary on 1 through 4 and then general notes, because I am long-windedCollapse )
Current Mood: geekygeek is delicious
Mary Le Fey
 Catching up on this month's meme: 

5. By age, who is your youngest char­ac­ter? Old­est? How about “youngest” and “old­est” in terms of when you cre­ated them?

Read more...Collapse )

6. Where are you most com­fort­able writ­ing? At what time of day? Com­puter or good ol’ pen and paper?

Read more...Collapse )
7. Do you lis­ten to music while you write? What kind? Are there any songs you like to relate/apply to your char­ac­ters?

Read more...Collapse )

Back to the nonfiction flop that is my life of unemployment and celibacy! I finally got to see 500 Days of Summer tonight. Day 488 I found really interesting. She says she kept thinking, "Tom was right," and I wonder how much consolation that gave his character - to know that he was there, in a way. That he had some sort of influence in her life even after they split up. I don't know what other people's interpersonal goals are - I'm very attached to the anxiety that the people who get to own space in my heart will not remember me, will not ever think of me in a spontaneous way or without me saying "hey" first or something and giving them a legitimate reason to remember who I am. Recently, I guess I got to have some relief from that, from two different sources, one I haven't spoken with since 2006. For two people I have been almost violently myself with to remember me for what I am and what I've said - I'm grateful to the point where I'm astonished that I am not crying. 

The loss of faith that Tom goes through I find exquisitely relateable. We want to feel like we can trust our "gut," as they say - that when we "just know" something, it's fact or destiny and it'll work out and we're in some maze that will bring us together eventually even if our paths diverge early on. And when Things That Actually Happen bring us to a place opposed to the place we were going in Things We Believed Would/Wanted To Happen Land, it just feels like we lied. Like we must have been wrong all along, there must have been something we overlooked, something that was off from the beginning - there must be some reason that a chapter, whether long or short, was ripped from our lives, crumpled up, and thrown in the wastebasket. 

But I don't think we lie all that much. I am not House. :) We can lie to ourselves a lot, and maybe I only believe in the intrinsic Goodness of gut-listening because I want to believe in it and not because it's treated me well, but even if I am only an optimistic as a coping mechanism, it's the way I'd rather be. Only living makes us seem wrong for believing that some specific person is "right" for us - we live to the point when they disagree, or when suddenly we feel that all the figurative sunshiny days our lives had were actually overcast all along because we've found a brand new sun. 

I'm surprised - and very, very glad - that life feels more amplified now than ever and that it always is that way. Current pain must appear to be the worst so far because it happens now, and all past pain must appear easier because it's faded or vanished or just plain not applicable - and the same with happiness, I think. One Thursday last month, I smiled and didn't know why and that felt like the most incredible thing because it happened after what seemed to be the worst wallowing of my experience, but my Moment of Clarity after the 2008 break-up was also the most amazing thing to me when it happened. It seems that life gets progressively worse and better, and better because it's worse and worse because it's better, and isn't that gorgeous? I love it; I really do. And there is no way, no way no way no way!, to invest less of myself than I did before, even if only because there is more to me than before. There is no excuse to be bitter forever, and no excuse to deny myself the experiences that I want. I am not a "Summer" - I opt for "serious" relationships over nameless ones, and I like to invest myself in other people. I should be able to do that, and I should be with someone who wants that both ways. 

Also, if - some day in futuretimes, if when I'm with someone again - I ever mention that a boyfriend refuses to go bowling with me, unless he has some very specific allergy, just tell me to break it off right then. I can't abide that not-bowling silliness. :) 
Current Mood: thoughtfulthoughtful