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12 January 2011 @ 02:50 pm
A post to deposit my cognitive processes  
"Even to begin to understand the problem of faith one must differentiate between rational and irrational faith. By irrational faith I understand the belief (in a person or an idea) which is based on one's submission to irrational authority. In contrast, rational faith is a conviction which is rooted in one's own experience of thought or feeling. Rational faith is not primarily belief in something, but the quality of certainty and firmness which our convictions have. Faith is a character trait pervading the whole personality, rather than a specific belief." 
-- Erich Fromm, The Art of Loving, 1956
Have in recent months - and every so often over the last I-don't-know-how-many years - been coaxed into thought (from which I slipped myself away, never having enough time to devote the energy I would like to) about two particular concurrent facts of my life: 1) I disassociate myself from religion as much as possible; I feel that the question of "God - yes or no?" is not only wrongly asked but, for my own life, irrelevant.  2) I experience the word "faith" (or "faithful" or ... whatever) as a word that applies to and resonates with my life and my person in a giant way. 

This excerpt - and be thankful that I kept my quoting down to that; I could have run on for pages - describes it (quickly) well. I am a person of - apparently rational - faith. I cannot easily or exactly say what it might be I "have faith in," just that I have faith. It's not something I connect to "something larger than myself;" my experience of faith has been not only spiritual or intellectual, but visceral. 

Lying around in bed since Saturday is making me very rambly, and I want to talk about all sorts of things, like everything Erich Fromm every wrote or suggested, like Epicurean happiness, like the individual as a universe, about living through a human body instead of living in a human body - about not feeling trapped, about the chasm between our personal experience and external "common sense," about using and not using certain words for ourselves - words we think are important or informative but have almost endless gray area - and about the experience of caring. About snow and New England, about how my non-return to New England is no longer a tuck-my-tail-between-my-legs, defeat-y thing. I'll go back someday. I just don't need to go back right now. (There are definitely winter-time advantages to not being in NE, too, but that's the least of things.) 

Also, on my music player, Loreena McKennitt's "Parallel Dreams" album is sandwiched between "Human Nature" by Madonna and "Be Prepared" from the Lion King. I almost feel like I should be proud... 

One of my shows (TBBT) got picked up for 3 more seasons - it's currently in its 4th - and it makes me wibble a little bit with fret. :( That's just... a lot of seasons there. And some similar-length shows that I've also been a fan of have gotten, uh, kind of horrible in the 6th, 7th, 8th seasons: Charmed's P.S. season was just silly, and before the (Sherman-)Palladinos left Gilmore Girls it was like they made sure to infect it with ... television-herpes. I worry that a 3-year pick-up will allow the writers to slack off and not develop the characters with integrity in later seasons. But I also like the idea that a 3-year pick-up can enable the writers to tackle much larger/longer arcs. For instance, the Penny/Leonard pairing was very predictable in S3. It's not a failing show, so if you're gonna slam the Official Couple together in an early season, you're gonna have to, before the season is through, tear them asunder *end over-dramatic* I just like using the word ~asunder.~ 

Something I think it kind of neat about TBBT is that I really... don't give a crap about the Official Couple. That's a very weird status for me to have. I'm not super-shippy, but, going back to Gilmore Girls and Charmed, it was VERY IMPORTANT, OKAY for Luke/Lorelai and Piper/Leo to be okay. Anyway. The current season of TBBT actually served up a really delicious Penny/Leonard scene in the New Year's Eve episode (well, it was set on NYE - I love TBBT for bypassing Christmas even though its previous Xmas eps were mad awesome). Mmm. So awkward. I love me some awkward. 
Current Mood: uncomfortableuncomfortable
Current Music: "Coraline" by Rasputina